Why Your German Friend Doesn't Smile (and Why You Should Pay Attention When They Do)

Since I moved here to the Philippines, I’ve noticed something. You’re always smiling. At strangers, at neighbors, at the store, at the jeepney driver, at everyone. It’s beautiful. That’s truly one of the things I love about your culture.

And then there’s me. The German who always looks serious.

I know some of you have probably thought: “Is she angry?” “Did I do something wrong?” No. You didn’t do anything wrong. Promise.

In the Philippines, smiling is normal. In Germany, it’s different. Here, a smile is like glue that makes everything lighter. In Germany, we see smiling differently. It’s not a greeting. It’s something you say without words.

My face without a smile doesn’t mean I’m angry. It doesn’t mean I’m sad either. That’s just what my face looks like. Germans are used to faces like that, just like Filipinos are used to smiles. And if there’s really a problem, I’ll tell you. That’s how Germans are — straight to the point.

And here’s the part I really want you to understand.

When I smile at you, it’s real. Not for show. Not out of habit. It means I’m genuinely happy. That I’m happy to be with you. That you matter to me. A German smile is rare because it comes from the heart. We don’t give it away just to be polite. We give it to people who are important to us.

So if you see me smile at you, now you know. That’s me saying, “I really like you. You matter to me.”

And to this day, that hasn’t changed.